OMFG

To bring you up to speed...

I just came back from a whirwind trip to NYC. Right before I left, I was presented with an opportunity to sublet a friend's room in a kickass apartment in Chelsea (think washer/dryer IN the apartment) for an outrageously decent NYC rent for the months of June and July, with an option to renew for a year on August 1. After seeing the apartment and talking it over with my family, my friends, and my bestest BFF's, I have decided it's now or never.

In other words? I'm moving to NYC June 1. JUNE 1!!!

I'm currently figuring out my job situation, my current apartment situation, and all that jazz, but regardless of what happens, I will be living in NYC in about a month. Crazy.

What's the Point?

If going to work in the past was a struggle, these past couple days have been unbearably difficult. Every morning I wake up and ask myself, "What's the point?" Going into the office and waiting to be laid off, is kind of annoying. I wish it would just happen already so I can move on and devote all my time to what's next. I need to remind myself that the longer I'm here, the longer I'm paid, and that's crucial right now.

I sold a set of bookcases over the weekend and may have another buyer coming my way tonight to purchase some other bookcases (yes, I have many, many bookcases). It's kind of nice to get things out of the house, although it also means that all the contents of said bookcases are now littering my bedroom and living room floors. I'm headed to New York this week to meet with a few contacts and visit with some friends, and after I return, I plan to get more aggressive with my Craigslist posting. My Mom's already called dibs on my couch, which kinda sucks because that's the item I could probably make the most off of. But then I remember that if I find myself jobless and without severance in a few months, I'll be asking much more from my parents than what the couch is worth, and well, that just shuts me right up.

By the way, I bought the sourdough. And three slices later, I realize it was a mistake. Hope it refrigerates well...

Practice Makes Perfect

Since discovering that my termination date is imminent, I've adopted a new way of thinking about my purchases. While I've been successful in reigning in my extraneous spenditures (i.e. clothes, shoes, books, makeup, home decor), I've never been able to practice the same restraint when it comes to food. To me, food is, like oxygen, absolutely vital, and to skimp on food would be to skimp on life, and that, my friends, is a huge no-no. Also? I'm hungry a lot.

I do most of my grocery shopping at natural foods stores, which can definitely get expensive. Because I've been cooking a lot more lately and testing new recipes, my trips to the store have become much more frequent and the ingredients more exotic and hard-to-find (read: expensive). In good news, I'm eating out a lot less than I used to. The bad? Trying new recipes means buying loads of groceries. Oh and I pretty much only buy organic produce, if I can help it.

But now I'm starting to pay attention to how often I "run to the store" for a quick something. How many times I pick up that extra dark chocolate bar or loaf of crusty French batard. Iced coffee from Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf? Yum, but... no. Last Wednesday (THE day) I had an appointment after work that kept me out until about 8:30 p.m. I didn't have anything prepared and had just planned on picking something up on the way home. With nothing but $$$ on the brain, I balked at the thought of stopping by Whole Foods for an $8 salad, especially when there's a Taco Bell on the corner. One bean burrito and $0.89 later, I had my dinner. The whole thing was quite sad, really, but in my defense, I've always liked their bean burritos. Still, I couldn't help but ask myself: Will I have to live off Taco Bell bean burritos from here on out?

I guess you could say, I'm beginning to practice living a life with less. It's a dash of fun mixed with 2 tablespoons of depressing. But to end on a positive note, maybe this just means I'll learn to eat a lot less and get really skinny. Hmph...

P.S. Right now, I'm debating whether or not to pick up a loaf of sourdough on my way home for lunch. A slice of toasted, buttery sourdough would go brilliantly with my (free! cooked! at home!) lunch, but would it be a waste of money? Do I NEED it? Obviously not, as sourdough does nothing but bad things to my waistline, but... it's so delicious. I want it.

Change of Plans

Well, it appears that my moving date has been pushed up. Long story short: I effectively quit my job yesterday. I say effectively because technically, nothing has happened, but I know that I will be laid off soon. Any day now, actually. Brief explanation: The economy is bad, and my industry is not doing well, and my particular office is suffering financially. My company gave me an opportunity to take another position (similar rank, pay, etc.) in another one of our offices... in a different city. I point blank asked my boss whether staying in my current city would mean risking being laid off, and he was very honest with me... "Yes."

This all happened on Wednesday morning. I had to give them an answer on Thursday morning. I knew almost immediately what my answer would be, but still, it was one of the most difficult decisions I've ever had to make in my short adult life. "No."

Most people think I'm crazy giving up an opportunity that guarantees great pay and, more importantly, job security. But for a number of reasons, most of which I will not discuss here, I can't. It's not right, and every part of my mind and body tells me it's not right. But. Turning it down meant accepting that my current job in my current city could be taken away at a moment's notice. That's a risk I am choosing to accept.

I won't be able to save the money I wanted, no, not even close. But the good news is, this means I get to go to NYC faster (as long as I can get a job, that is)! I won't deny that a part of me is relieved (I've been very unhappy for a very long time), but another part of me is equally terrified. The possibility of no income... Well, quite frankly, that's terrible. But I know I've made the right decision, and all the important players in my life are behind me 100%.

So here I am, perfecting my resume, looking for jobs, not shopping and preparing to sell my belongings, all while still employed. Life's funny, isn't it?

Stuff

So now that I'm completely FREAKED OUT and convinced that I will have to deal with mice and roaches, I'm choosing to move on and not dwell on that thought right now, especially considering it won't be a reality for a long time. For now, I figure I should focus on what I need to do today to make my dream a reality, and part of that is... downsizing. I don't use that word lightly.

I'm what you call a "stuff" person. I'm not a hoarder, per se, as I have no problem getting rid of old things. Rather, I just absolutely love getting new things. Correction: loved. Slowly but surely I am starting to realize how much my stuff is weighing me down, literally and figuratively. What's the point? As I type this, I'm looking around my bedroom, currently the most cluttered room in my house. Piles of shoes in the corner (several of which have not been worn), enough makeup to put Sephora to shame, random empty vases and containers, a half-broken dresser with sheets, flannel PJ's and jewelry hanging out, and don't even get me started on what's under the bed. It's exhausting.

So now, I have to get rid of stuff. Get rid of stuff and not buy stuff. Sounds easy enough, but again, it's exhausting. The first step is listing what I can on Craigslist. The second is taking clothes/shoes/accessories to a local consignment shop. The third is really figuring out what I actually need, as those "needs" will be what I take with me to NYC. I have a feeling it doesn't include 40 necklaces and a library of books...

Are you a "stuff" person? How do I do this? What's on your "needs" list?

Rats, Roaches and Rodents (Oh my!)

Okay, I realize that rats are rodents, but I needed another "r" word. Alliteration is a favorite of mine.

So, this isn't the sexiest topic, but it needs to be addressed. One of my greatest fears of living in NYC are the inevitable pests that will somehow infiltrate my life. In my mind, every NYC apartment (unless you can afford to live in an uber nice one) comes with its own pests, and that usually includes roaches, mice, and maybe rats. I've talked to a couple friends who have lived in the city, and they've confirmed it somewhat. Maybe no rats or mice, but roaches for sure.

Let me make something clear. I am terrified of roaches. I mean in a "scream, cry, hyperventilate and then check myself into a hotel" kind of terrified. I don't know what it is about them, but they FREAK me out. Crickets are gross, but I can handle them a little better. Spiders don't scare me the way they scare other people. But roaches? *Shudders*

So... is it true? Will I experience roaches and maybe the odd mouse? How do you single ladies COPE with this problem? I know it's not specific to New York City - any major metropolitan area is bound to have its fair share of pests. Even friends in my city have had rat problems, but I have yet to see one myself (thank sweet Jesus).

Seriously, I just googled "roaches" and the images that popped up freaked me out so much that I had to close the window immediately and then jump up and down for about 10 seconds. TERRIFIED.

Oh and rodents? Don't even get me started. When I was in Paris with a friend, we were trying to fall asleep when we heard a rustle in the apartment. Turns out there was a tiny little mouse in one of the trash cans. I was SO HORRIFIED that I started crying and jumped on the bed screaming "I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it." Eventually, my much braver friend Martha picked up the trash can and dumped the mouse outside the window. It's really sad when you think about it b/c we probably injured it, and it probably died a slow painful death, but... I could not handle it.

I'm scared.

The How

I've covered the why, but let's be honest, the most difficult part about this whole thing is the how. While the idea of picking up and moving TODAY without a job and without a place to live sounds (a little) exciting, it's not realistic, and I'm old enough to know now that realtiy is not to be ignored (especially when money is involved.) There are two big things holding me back: (1) money; and (2) experience.

1. Money

Yes, I have a good salary right now, but I also have mountains of debt. I've been working diligently over the past year to pay off that debt, but mountains are well... mountains. I still have a long way ago. In addition to paying off debt, it's imperative that I save a substantial amount of money before I go (something along the lines of $16k, at least). That's going to take time, my friends! (Like... 10-12 months.)

2. Experience

While I acknowledge the fact that I'll be taking a severe pay cut when I move to the city (I can't go into details here, but just know that my career path will change), I also acknowledge that in order to make enough to realistically live there (aka not have to eat ramen for dinner every night), I will need a decent paying job. And that, my friends, will not come about unless I have a fair amount of working experience under my belt. As of right now? I don't have enough. I need to make it until October.

So the timeline is that I will make the move sometime in early 2011. To me, that sounds sooooooooooooo far away, but I have lots to do before then. And I'll need your help along the way!

The Why

I ask myself "why?" multiple times a day. Why would I leave my cushy life in this fabulous city with a six-figure salary and a big one-bedroom loft all to myself? Why would I do that when I know that moving to NYC means I'll take a severe pay cut (more on that later) and will likely end up living with 3 other roommates in a converted studio apartment, praying that I will never have a rat problem (ew... more on that later, too)?

Well... because.

Because it's New York City!

And as cliche as it sounds, I've always wanted to live there (and not just because Sex and the City). More importantly, I'm bored with my life here. As ridiculous as it sounds, it's just too easy. I have everything I need and then some. I have friends, a nice car, a well-paying job, gourmet grocery stores, fabulous boutiques, a ginormous bath tub, and a ridiculously stuffed closet full of clothes. On the other hand, I hate going to work, so much so that I wake up every morning thinking of ways to get out of it. It's difficult to walk away because of its ludicrous salary (that's how they suck you in!), AND I have thousands upon thousands of debt, debt that I don't want to be paying for the rest of my life. All these reasons have kept me here.

But I'm also young. And unattached. If I don't move to NYC now, I never will. And there's one thing I know for sure - if I don't try, I will regret it for the rest of my life. I know it's going to be difficult. I know I'll be broke (relatively), I know I'll probably sit in my 5x5 closet of a room and cry myself to sleep, wondering why on earth I thought this was a good idea. I know that the winter weather will SUCK. But it doesn't matter. I want it. I want it so badly that I'm dedicating the next 8-12 months of my life saving as much as possible, paying off as much debt as possible, getting rid of 80% of my belongings, and basically trying to live as cheaply as possible.

So... any tips?